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The Magic Guitar

I'd seen the guitar that morning through the window of a pawn shop on my way to work. It looked kinda groovy in a retro sort of way - electric blue with silver sparkles. I stopped on my way back home to take a closer look. It seemed to beckon to me. And then I heard a supernatural voice whispering in my head - "take me I'm yours".
I dont know the 1st. thing about playing the guitar, or anything else for that matter. And I really couldn't afford it, so I bought it anyway! £195 plus tax. It came with a strap, a cardboard box, a plectrum, and a set of spare strings.

I carried it home and took it out of the box. I set it up on the settee while I stared at it from the comfort of my armchair.
It shimmered as it caught the last rays of the afternoon sun.
I was transfixed as the light reflected into my eyes. I think I must've gone into some kind of trance for a moment. When I came back to my senses I chuckled to myself......
"who do you think you are? you ain't no low slung guitar hero like Mick Ronson"
I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror and started to play air guitar while singing the riff from Jean Genie -
da daa da dum dum dum - da daa da dum dum dum.
On impulse I grabbed my new guitar and threw it over my shoulder, still singing away. Suddenly, as if guided by the Platinum Haired Spider from Mars, the fingers of my left hand wrapped themselves around the neck of the guitar to form an 'E Shape'.

I'm telling you that I dont know one end of the guitar from the other - let alone an E Shape?!
Miraculously I just started strumming away with my right hand. What was happening to me? Was this an out of body experience? Was this actually me playing? Inexplicably I just knew how to play this riff. I launched into an improvised guitar solo. And then it blew my mind - THIS was a magic guitar! And it seemed that I was using it to channel energy from the spirit of a dead guitar hero. I paused to get my breath back for a moment. Maybe I could play something by a living Guitar God? I mean why restrict yourself to the departed? I looked into my mind and I remembered the greatest rock gig I had ever witnessed - The Who at Hull University in 1967.

I swung my right arm around and around like a windmill, and belted out the riff for My Generation. The volume in my ears was tremendous, although the guitar wasn't even plugged into an amp?! I was soaked in Townsend. I was intoxicated by the vibe. As my aggressive guitar playing reached an unbelievable climax, I became possessed by a wicked and destructive force. Confidently I grabbed the guitar by its neck and smashed it wildly against the table. Not happy with that I proceeded to demolish the sideboard and the TV set. There was an explosion. Sparks flew across the room, and I collapsed in a heap on the floor.
As the deafening feedback gradually died away, I sat dazed and confused among the remains of my magic guitar which now lay in smithereens.
oh well ... that's rock n roll !